The Turbulent Love Life Of Luna Lovegood
by Evidel
Summary: Luna searches for love. Naturally, she does it in her own unique way.


Luna Lovegood had a wonderful life. She worked as a wizarding naturalist and she loved her job. Even though she hadn't been able to find the Crumple-Horned Snorkack yet, she was sure she would eventually discover it. Her friends (She finally had friends! Who knew all it really took was a war against a powerful, dark wizard?) loved her and her father was proud of her.

But she couldn't help but notice how happy Harry was around Ginny or how Ron's eyes lit up when he saw Hermione. At first, Luna suspected that it was the evil work of a Chizpurfle, but she dismissed her idea rather quickly. No, it was something completely different, far more sinister.

It was love. Luna remembered how happy her father was when her mother was alive. She also remembered how devastated he was after her death. Love was essential to one's happiness. So, Luna decided to fall in love. Her life would be complete, then.

Luna made a list. Her mother always said that lists were important. She wrote down all the names of the men who could be a potential love interest. And because she wanted to keep her options open, she also wrote down all the names of the women who could be a potential love interest. Eventually, she managed to narrow it down a little.

**1. Percy Weasley**

Percy was surprised when his mother informed him that Luna Lovegood wanted to meet him. He was never really close to her. They hadn't exchanged more than five words all these years they knew each other. Frankly, Percy was wary of the little girl and her strange ideas**.**

**"**Not a little girl anymore," he thought when he saw her. In front of him, there was a young woman. Suddenly, Percy remembered she was the same age as Ginny. Surely, his baby sister hadn't grown up so fast, had she?

"Hello, Percy." Her voice was distant and dreamy.

"Hello, Luna. Please sit down."

"Oh, I like standing up. If you stand up for a long time, you grow taller."

Percy didn't know what to say, so he said nothing. He had learned the hard way that was the wisest thing he could do.

"You are odd, aren't you?"

"Excuse me?" Percy was irritated. Percy was a lot of things, had been called a lot of things, not necessary flattening, but he had never been called odd. To add insult to injury, this was _Luna Lovegood_, for god's sake.

"You are so different from your family. You stand out like a sore thumb. We have that in common."

Percy was really uncomfortable now. He searched the room for an easy getaway. Would it be rude if he just apparated?

Luna looked him in the eye. "Our children would be confusing creatures." She smiled and kissed him. Percy apparated.

Luna let out a big sight. She took her list out of her robe's pocket and crossed out his name. "Pity."

**2. Neville Longbottom**

Luna was glad to be back at Hogwarts. Her old school was one of her favourite places. But there was no time for happy memories. She had a mission and she was determined to succeed.

"Luna!" Neville seemed really excited to see her. "That is good," Luna though. She would have to write it down, right under his name. That was the practical thing to do, and Luna was nothing but practical.

Neville hugged her tightly. "Physical contact. I have to write this down, too."

Neville stared her in the eyes. Did she say that aloud?

"Yes, Luna, you did." Neville chuckled. "Anyway, why are you here? You are always welcome, of course," he added quickly.

"You were my first friend."

Neville smiled sadly. "Yes, I suppose I was."

"You were afraid of me but it didn't really matter. You were so alone back then you would befriend the Giant Squid."

Silence. "What exactly do you want, Luna?" Neville asked. No matter how many years had passed, how much Neville had changed, he always sounded nervous around her. "That may be a problem," Luna thought.

She told him.

"Eh, Luna...You are a great girl, and I love you...but you know I am seeing Hannah, right? You send her a present last Christmas, remember?

"That may be a problem," Luna said.

They stared awkwardly at each other. Well, Neville was awkward. Luna was thinking her other options.

"Tea?" Neville asked after a long pause.

**3. Cho Chang**

Cho was confused. She remembered Luna, of course. You couldn't really forget Luna, she was pretty...unique. They were both in Ravenclaw. Of course, she was two years younger than her so they were really never friends. And after the whole mess with Dumbledore's Army, she only knew her as Harry's weird friend.

And now, she was standing right in front of her and asking her if she wanted to be her girlfriend.

"Luna...I am really flattered, but, I am not really...you know..."

Luna just stared at her.

"You know..."

"No, I don't." She sounded sincere.

"You know...gay."

"You say it like it's a bad thing."

"No, I don't!" Cho shouted. "No, I don't." she repeated in a normal voice.

"Yes, you do. You whisper it like it's a curse word. Anyway, don't worry. Neither am I.

After that, Cho was really confused.

**4. Nearly-Headless Nick**

"I am a ghost," Nick said. He seemed offended.

**5. Dudley Dursley**

Dudley couldn't believe his luck. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life. She has blonde hair, just like his mother.

"Mum would love her," he though excitingly.

Dudley hadn't many girlfriends. He couldn't understand why. He was charming and he had inherited his dad's looks. For some strange reason, women didn't want him. "Their loss," Dudley though bitterly.

But Luna was different. She liked him. And Dudley couldn't be picky.

It was their second date and Dudley started to feel anxious. It was time to get things moving.

He let his hand wander lower than her waist. He felt something...pointy.

"Oh, no! That's just my wand!" She pointed it at him.

Dudley fainted.

"Oh, well. I didn't really like him."

**6. Victor Krum**

Dear Mrs Lovegood,

We are very sorry but Mr Krum is really busy with the upcoming Quidditch World Cup. He would take your proposal into consideration. In the meantime, here is a signed autograph.

Yours sincerely,

Nicoletta Cavaliere,

Manager of the Official Viktor Kram's Fan Club.

**7. Draco Malfoy**

"Death Eater."

**8. Susan Bones**

"Hufflepuff."

* * *

Luna was disappointed. Despite her best efforts, she couldn't find her soul mate. Moreover, people started to avoid her and she had two Impending sexual harassment complaints. Her list was a complete disaster.

She was sitting in her garden. Suddenly, a young man aparrated in front of her.

"Hello! Are you Luna Lovegood? He continued without waiting for an answer. "I am Rolf Scamander. Nice to meet you." He had beautiful eyes and a gentle smile.

"I am a naturalist, too. I am really interested in many species you've studied and I...

"Do you know about Crumple-Horned Snorkack?" Luna interrupted him. She felt it was a really important question.

"No...What are they? Rolf asked.

"Well, Mr Scamander, it's a really big story. You see, Snorlacks are an ancient species...

They walked towards her house. He held his hand close to hers, not really touching but close enough to feel the heat of his skin.

Luna lost her list. She didn't really mind.


End file.
